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Thu Oct 15, 2009 5:08 am
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theunknownamus
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Post subject: I'm not as think as you drunk I am. Reply with quote

(wow, last 3 way I had ended with cops busting in my door, but that's another story [that involved alchohol] good luck Yiles. Wink )

I swear to drunk I'm not god!


Last edited by theunknownamus on Sat Oct 17, 2009 1:36 am; edited 1 time in total
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Thu Oct 15, 2009 5:15 am
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theunknownamus
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Post subject: Lot of facts Reply with quote

BEER LIST

Some helpful descriptions when choosing a beer:

Ale: Fermented at higher temperatures with a top fermented yeast giving it a fruity characteristic.

Bock: The first beer that is drawn in the spring from the vats. Strong in flavor and dark in color.

Hefeweizen: German for "yeast-wheat". Rich, smooth and refreshing.

Lager: Bottom fermented and aged for a longer period of time.

Lambic: A fruit fermented style of wheat beer unique to Belgium.

Micro-Brewed or Crafted Beers: Produced in small batches in order to preserve the unique flavor and quality.

Pilsner: Golden colored, dry and bottom fermented.

Porter: Dark ale brewed with a roasted, bittersweet taste. A lighter-bodied companion to stout.

Stout: An extra dark, almost black, top-fermented brew. Full flavored, hearty, roasted malt and bitter.

"I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer." Homer Simpson

Top

USA Bottles

LC = Low Carb O = Organic
Budweiser (4.65%)
Ice (5.1%)
Light (4.16%)
Busch (4.72%)
Light (LC) (4.1%)
Coors (4.55%)
Light (LC) (4.0%)
Michelob (4.8%)
Amber Bock (4.8%)
Amber Ultra
Light (LC) (4.3%)
Ultra (LC) (4.2%)

Miller
Genuine Draft (4.7%)
Genuine Draft Light (4.2%)
High Life (4.7%)
Lite (LC) (4.2%)
Lite Chill

Pabst Blue Ribbon (4.7%)

Rock Green Light (LC)

Rolling Rock (4.69%)

Strohs (4.6%)

"It was a wise man who invented beer." Plato

Draft Beers

Canada
Labatts (5.34%)

England
Bass Ale (4.83%)
Newcastle Brown Ale

Germany
Warsteiner German Lager

Ireland
Guiness Stout

USA
Blue Moon
Bud Light
Dead Guy Ale
Bud Light
Killian's Irish Red
Leinkugel Fireside Nut Brown
Mille Lite (4.18%)
Sam Adams Cherry Wheat

Imports

Australia
Foster's (5.16%)

Belgium
Framboise Raspberry - Lambic
Gluden - Draak (25oz.)(10.5%)

Canada
Labatt
Labatt Canadian Ale
Blue (5.34%)
Light

La Fin DuMonde (9%)(25oz)
Molson
Canadian Ale (4.96%)
Canadian Lite
Ice

Czech Republic
Klaster Dark
Pilsner Urquell (4.18%)

England
Hobgoblin Ale (16oz)
Scarecrow Ale (16oz)
St. Peter's Cream Stout (16oz) (0)
St. Peter's English Ale (16oz) (0)
St. Peter's Old Style Porter (16oz) (0)
Well's Banana Bread Beer (16oz)

Germany
Beck's (5.13%)
Beck's Dark
Beck's Light
Erdinger Dark (16oz)
Erdinger Hefeweizen (16oz)
Hacker-Pschorr (5.5%)
Schnelder Weiss
St. Pauli Girl (5.3%)
Weihenstephaner (16oz)(5.4%)

Holland
Amstel Light (3.63%)
Grolsch (16oz swingtop)
Heineken (4.85%)
Heineken Light

Ireland
Guinness Pub Stout (16 oz)
Harp (4.73%)
Ohara's Irish Red
Smithwick's (5%)

Italy
Stella Artois

Jamaica
Red Stripe

Japan
Asahi - Super Dry (21oz) (4.51%)

Mexico
Corona
Corona Light
Dos Equis Amber
Modelo Especial

Scotland
Skull Splitter (8.5%)
Tennent's of Scotland
Belhaven Twisted - IPA (16oz)

"I have never needed a beer so bad in my entire life." Hank Hill

Made in Michigan
Michigan is now home to many different brands and varieties of micro-brewed beers. Here are the ones we carry at Champ's Pub.

Grand Rapids, MI
Founders Red Eye (6.4%)

Detroit, MI
Atwater Dunkel (5.2%)
Atwater Hell (5.0%)

Kalamazoo, MI
Bell's Amber Ale (6.0%)
Bell's Cherry Stout (8.5%)
Bell's Kalamazoo Stout (6.5%)
Bell's Third Coast (5.2%)
Bell's Third Coast Old Ale
Bell's Two Hearted

Marshall, MI
Dark Horse IPA (6.0%)

Webberville, MI
Celis Raspberry (4%)
Wolverine Beer

Ypsilanti, MI
Red Snapper

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Benjamin Franklin

From the Midwest

Chippewa Falls, WI
Leinenkugel's Red Lager (4.9%)

I threw in some famous quotes, locations and producers as well as the alcohol percentage content so you won't choke on your own vomit. Razz


Last edited by theunknownamus on Sat Oct 17, 2009 1:33 am; edited 1 time in total
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Fri Oct 16, 2009 7:18 pm
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Yiles
Moon


Joined: 24 Feb 2008
Posts: 441

Post subject: Reply with quote

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sh6oGwOMVeY


This video needs no explanation
_________________

Bruce Lee wrote:
“When the opponent expands, l contract. When he contracts, l expand. And when there is an opportunity...l do not hit...it hits all by itself”
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Fri Oct 16, 2009 7:34 pm
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judd
Planet


Joined: 07 Jul 2008
Posts: 634
Location: All over the local papers

Post subject: Reply with quote

quality mate

been like that a few times
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Fri Oct 16, 2009 7:38 pm
Author Message
Yiles
Moon


Joined: 24 Feb 2008
Posts: 441

Post subject: Reply with quote

I figured you had
_________________

Bruce Lee wrote:
“When the opponent expands, l contract. When he contracts, l expand. And when there is an opportunity...l do not hit...it hits all by itself”
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Sat Oct 17, 2009 1:34 am
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theunknownamus
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Post subject: Oh yeah... Reply with quote

Can completely relate. Laughing
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Sat Oct 24, 2009 8:19 pm
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highvoltage
Planetoid


Joined: 19 Oct 2009
Posts: 36
Location: Turn Around

Post subject: PLUUUUUHHHHH!!!! Reply with quote

IIIIIII LLLLOOOOOOOVEVVEEeee



BBEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
_________________
Twisted Evil Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting. Twisted Evil
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Mon Nov 02, 2009 5:23 am
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theunknownamus
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Post subject: Jill's Legs Reply with quote

So this new bar opens and the owner can't think of a name. So he decides to name the bar after the 3rd person who walks in. It takes dosen't take long and soon the 3rd customer walks in.
The owner jumps up and walks over to the girl. “You're the 3rd person to enter my bar and I'm going to name it after you.”

“Okay,” she says, “my name is Jill.”

The owner looks her over and says, “I like your legs so I'm going to name the bar 'Jill's Legs'”

The next day a bum is sitting outside the bar and a cop askes him what he's doing. He answers, “Waiting for Jill's Legs to open so I can get a drink!”
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Mon Nov 02, 2009 5:26 am
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theunknownamus
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Post subject: DUI Enforcement Reply with quote

One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible drunk drivers. At closing time he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Everyone left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started his engine and began to pull away.
The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered a Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be.

The driver replied, "Tonight, I'm the designated decoy."
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Mon Nov 02, 2009 5:27 am
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theunknownamus
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Post subject: Ehh. Reply with quote

A man walks into a bar and says, "Excuse me, I'd like a pint of beer."

The bartender serves the drink and says, "That'll be four dollars."

The customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to the bartender.

"Sorry, sir," the bartender says, "but I can't accept that."

The man pulls out a ten-dollar bill and the bartender rejects his money again. "What's going on here?" the man asks.

Pointing to a neon sign, the bartender explains, "This is a Singles Bar."
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Mon Nov 02, 2009 5:30 am
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theunknownamus
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Post subject: Dumb Drunk Reply with quote

A guy walks into a bar and he orders a whiskey. He sits down and just before he takes a sip of his whiskey a guy runs in and says, “Bill! Your house burnt down!”
So he runs outside but then he thinks, “I don't have a house.” So he goes back into the bar and takes a sip of his whiskey.
Another guy runs in and says, “Bill! Your dad died!”
And so he runs out of the bar, gets on his horse and rides a little ways but then thinks, “I don't have a dad.”
So he goes back into the bar and drinks almost all of his whiskey when another guy runs in and says, “Bill! You won the lottery!”
So he runs out, gets on his horse and rides all the way to the bank but then thinks, “My name's not Bill.”
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Mon Nov 02, 2009 5:33 am
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theunknownamus
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Post subject: Dyslexic Reply with quote

Smile A dyslexic walks into a bra...
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Mon Nov 02, 2009 5:38 am
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theunknownamus
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Post subject: 15 Signs You Drank Too Much Reply with quote

15 - You spent Sunday night in jail for cow-tipping — with your Oldsmobile.
14 - Although armed with fire extinguishers, friends stood at a safe distance as you blew out your birthday candles.
13 - Thanks to you, Jack Daniels stock is up 15 1/4 since Friday.
12 - Boris Yeltsin called personally to ask you to slow down on the Stoli.
11 - For some reason, there's salt on the rim of your basketball goal.
10 - Your name is Otis and Sheriff Andy has brought you some of Aunt Bea's pancakes.
9 - For the money you spent on Thunderbird, you could've bought the automobile.
8 - You're now the proud inventor of the "Slim Jim": Ultra Slim-Fast shakes made with Jim Beam.
7 - Answering machine full of warnings from Coach Switzer.
6 - Absolut wants to run an ad featuring a picture of your liver in the shape of a bottle.
5 - Yet again, dry cleaner employees greet you with, "Hey, it's Vomit Man!"
4 - The doorman asks for your I.D. just to see how long it'll take you to find your pants.
3 - Your liver, in a fit of pique, leaps out of your abdominal cavity into a pan of frying onions.
2 - Worried friends call Monday morning to make sure you returned the goat.
1 - You're now sober enough to realize "Drink Canada Dry" is a slogan and not a personal challenge
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Mon Nov 02, 2009 5:43 am
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theunknownamus
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Post subject: Drunk at the Door Reply with quote

A husband and wife are in bed when there is a knock at the door. The husband rolls over and looks at his clock -- it's 3:30 a.m. He drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs.

When he opens the door, there is a drunk slumped there. "Hi ya," slurs the stranger. "Can you give me a push?"

"Get lost," says the man. "It's half-past three."

He slams the door and goes back up to bed. He tells his wife about the drunk. She says, "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain and you had to knock on that man's door? What would've happened if he'd told us to get lost?"

So, the husband gets back out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and calls out, "Hey, do you still want a push?" A voice answers, "Yes, please."

"Where are you?" calls the man.

The stranger replies, "I'm over here -- on your swing set."
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Mon Nov 02, 2009 5:45 am
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theunknownamus
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Post subject: How Old is this Drink? Reply with quote

An old guy walks into a bar and asks for a bottle of forty-year old Scotch. The bartender, not wanting to give up the good liquor, pours a shot of ten-year Scotch and figures that the guy won't be able to tell the difference. The guy downs the Scotch and says: "This Scotch is only ten years old! I specifically asked for forty-year old Scotch."
Amazed, the bartender reaches into a locked cabinet underneath the bar and pulls out a bottle of twenty-year old Scotch and pours the man a shot. The guy drinks it down and says, "That was twenty-year old Scotch. I asked for forty-year old Scotch."

So the bartender goes into the back room and brings out a bottle of thirty-year old Scotch and pours the guy a drink. By now a small crowd has gathered around the man and is watching anxiously as he downs the latest drink. Once again the guy states the true age of the Scotch and repeats his original request for forty-year old Scotch.

The bartender can hold off no longer and disappears into the cellar to get a bottle of prime forty-year old Scotch. Soon, the bartender returns with the bottle and pours a shot. The guy downs the Scotch and says, "Now this is forty-year old Scotch!" The crowd applauds his discriminating palate.

An old drunk who had been watching the proceedings with interest, raises a full shot glass of his own and says, "Here, take a swig of this."

The guy takes the glass and downs the drink in one swallow. Immediately, he chokes and spits out the liquid on the barroom floor. "My God! That tastes like piss," he yells.

"Great guess," says the drunk. "Now, how old am I?"
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